Season Three Sounds

3X01 The Blessing Way

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Mulder: I have been on the bridge that spans two worlds, the link between all souls by which we cross into our own true nature. You were here today, looking for truth that was taken from you, a truth that was never to be spoken but which now binds us together in dangerous purpose. I have returned from the dead to continue with you, but I fear that this danger is now close at hand; that I may be too late.

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The Well-Manicured Man: Good day, young lady.

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Scully: Eyes forward. Put your hands where I can see them. Don't turn around, or I'll blow your head off.

3X02 Paper Clip

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Mulder: I'd like to try door number one, Monty.

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Mulder: Lots of files.
Scully: Lots and lots of files.

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The Cigarette-Smoking Man: What is this?
Walter Skinner: This is where you pucker up and kiss my ass!

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Scully: I've heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers.

3X03 D.P.0.

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Scully: Mulder?
Mulder: Yeah?
Scully: What's in your pocket?

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Mulder: Did you see what he did to my phone?
Scully: So what? Are we supposed to charge him with assaulting a cellular phone?

3X04 Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose

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Scully: I can't take you anywhere.

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Scully: It's too bad about your "negative energy", Mulder, you missed quite a performance.

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Clyde Bruckman: You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified one than autoerotic asphyxiation.
Mulder: Why are you telling me that?

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Mulder: Get this, Scully. The lab analysis from the first bit of fiber that was found just came back. It's lace.
Scully: Chantilly lace?
Mulder: You know what I like.

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Scully: There are hits, and there are misses. And then there are misses.

3X05 The List

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Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?

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Scully: A woman gets lonely, sometimes she can't wait around for a man to be reincarnated.

3X06 2Shy

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Scully: From a dry skin sample you're concluding what? That he's some kind of fat-sucking vampire?

3X08 The Oubliette

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Scully: That's spooky.
Mulder: That's my name, isn't it?

3X09 Nisei

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Scully: That's not your usual brand of entertainment.

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Scully: What is it?
Mulder: According to the magazine ad I answered, it's an alien autopsy. Guaranteed authentic.
Scully: You spent money for this?

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Scully: Mulder, this is even hokier than the one they aired on the Fox Network.

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Mulder: Oh, I didn't get his name. I was too busy getting my ass kicked.

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Mulder: Why do you refuse to believe?
Scully: Believing's the easy part, Mulder. I just need more than you, I need proof.
Mulder: You think that believing is easy?

3X10 731

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Scully: Apology has become policy.

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Mulder: I want an apology for the truth.

3X11 Revelations

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Scully: Mulder, would you do me a favor? Would you smell Mr. Jarvis?

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Mulder: They give bona fide paranoiacs like myself a bad name.

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Mulder: You never draw my bath!

3X12 War of the Coprophages

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Mulder: Scully, what are you wearing?

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Scully: I'm not going to ask you if you just said what I think you just said because I know it's what you just said.

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Scully: Did you know the inventor of the flush toilet was named Thomas Crapper?

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Mulder: Bambi also has this theory I've never come acro -
Scully: Who?
Mulder: Doctor Berenbaum. Anyway, her theory is -
Scully: Her name is Bambi?
Mulder: Yeah. Both her parents were naturalists. Her theory is that UFOs are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through electrical air fields.
Scully: Her name is Bambi?

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Mulder: Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany and, as a result, I screamed.

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Mulder: Greetings from planet Earth.

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Scully: All right. All right, listen up! I'm Agent Dana Scully from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I am assuring you that you are not in any danger. Everything is going to be okay if you just calm down, and start acting rationally. Now, where the hell are those road maps?

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Scully: Let me guess. Bambi.

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Mulder: You know, I never thought I'd say this to you, Scully, but you smell bad.

3X13 Syzygy

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Scully: Where's she going?
Mulder: You don't suppose she's a virgin, do you?
Scully: I doubt she's even a blonde.

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Scully: Sure. Fine. Whatever.

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Terri Roberts: Hate her.
Margi Kleinjan: Hate her, wouldn't wanna date her.

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Terri Roberts: Hate him!
Margi Kleinjan: Hate him, wouldn't wanna date him!

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Mulder: I know how much you like snapping on the latex.

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Scully: This has gone on far enough.
Mulder: What?
Scully: I am not going to be humiliated by you, in front of you, or by having to bring a teenage girl in, on her birthday of all days, to identify the bones of her dead dog, Mr. Tippy! I see no reason to pursue this case any further, and not only that, I find your conduct and comportment in this investigation not just alarming, but highly objectionable. What are you doing?
Mulder: Must be Detective White.
Scully: If thatís the reason we're sticking around, that's your business.
Mulder: What? What are you talking about?
Scully: Detective White.
Mulder: We came down here because of three unexplained deaths, Detective White is just trying to solve them. She could use our help.
Scully: Well, you two seem to have a certain simpatico. I'm going back to Washington in the morning.

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Angela White: You've been drinking.
Mulder: Yes, I, I have, which is funny, because I usually, I normally never, I don't drink.

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Angela White: Maybe we can solve the mystery of the horny beast.
Mulder: Maybe we should just watch some television.

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Mulder: Will you let me drive?
Scully: I'm driv - Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big macho-man?
Mulder: No, I was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals.

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Terri Roberts: Happy birthday, bitch.

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Mulder and Scully: Put that gun down!

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Mulder: Uh, there's an intersection up here, you're gonna wanna... Scully! You're gonna, wanna... You just ran a stop sign back there, Scully.
Scully: Shut up, Mulder.
Mulder: Sure, fine, whatever.

3X15 Piper Maru

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Scully: I'm just constantly amazed by you.

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Mulder: Looks like the fuselage of a plane.
Scully: It's a North American P-51 Mustang.
Wayne Morgan: Yeah, it sure is.
Mulder: I just got very turned on.

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Alex Krycek: I didn't kill your father!
Mulder: Now you tell me!

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Mulder: Why don't you go to the bathrooms and clean yourself off? If you're not out of there in 3 minutes, I'm coming in there to kill you!

3X16 Apocrypha

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Mulder: Guess I'm not dead.

3X17 Pusher

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Mulder: I mean, this guy calls himself "Pusher". Can't we take that to mean that he pushes his will onto other people?
Scully: Well, even if he could push his will, why would he, he cause an accident when he himself was in the car?
Mulder: Maybe he really didn't want to go to jail.

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Mulder: I think you drooled on me.
Scully: Sorry!

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Mulder: Let's go, G-Woman.

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Mulder: Modell psyched the guy out. He put the whammy on him!
Scully: Please explain to me the scientific nature of the "whammy".

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Walter Skinner: And you're saying this same mysterious phenomenon is the reason I have a size-seven heel mark in my face?

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Mulder: Think I can get the Playboy channel?

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Mulder: Smile, Scully!

3X18 Teso Dos Bichos

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Mulder: Personally, if someone digs me up in a thousand years, I hope there's a curse on them too.

3X19 Hell Money

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Mulder: One more string of firecrackers goes off, I'm gonna get out of the car and shoot somebody.

3X20 Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'

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Scully: Well, of course, he didn't actually say "bleeped", he said -

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Scully: Mulder, you're nuts!

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Mulder: (Girlie Scream)

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Scully: You never saw this. This didn't happen. You tell anyone, you're a dead man.

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Mulder: If I find out you lied to me, you're a dead man.

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Mulder: Have you ever found a metal implant in your body?

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Scully: That was Detective Manners. He said they just found your bleeping UFO.

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Scully: I know it probably doesn't have the sense of closure that you want, but it has more than some of our other cases.

3X21 Avatar

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Scully: Business must be booming.
Mulder: I think you mean, "banging".

3X22 Quagmire

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Scully: Nature's calling. I think we should pull over soon.
Mulder: Did you really have to bring that thing?
Scully: You wake me up on a Saturday morning, tell me to be ready in five minutes, my mother is out of town, all of the dog sitters are booked, and you know how I feel about kennels. So unless you want to lose your security deposit on the car, I suggest you pull over.
Mulder: I think I'm lost anyway. I've got to stop and ask for directions.

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Mulder: Seek and ye shall find, Scully.

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Mulder: You've lost some weight recently haven't you?
Scully: Yeah, actually I have, thanks for...

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Mulder: Scully, are you coming on to me?

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Scully: You know, Mulder, you are Ahab.
Mulder: You know, it's interesting you should say that, because I've always wanted a peg leg. It's a boyhood thing I never grew out of.

3X23 Wetwired

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Scully: Mulder! Look at this, there must be hundreds of videos here.
Mulder: Anything good?

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Mulder: All I know is television does not make a previously sane man go out and kill five people, thinking they're all the same guy. Not even Must-See TV could do that to you.

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Mulder: "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." What do you think, Scully?
Scully: I think television plays a large part in both of these murderers' lives.
Mulder: As it does in almost every American home, but television does not equal violence. I don't care what anybody says, unless you consider bad taste an act of violence.

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Mulder: Scully, you are the only one I trust.

3X24 Talitha Cumi

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Scully: You okay?

Mulder + Scully = True Love

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