Season Five Sounds

5X01 Unusual Suspects

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Mulder: They're here! They're here! They're here!

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Ringo Langly: We're screwed.

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Ringo Langly: Shut up, ya narc!

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Mulder: No thanks, handsome.

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Melvin Frohike: Hello, pretty lady.

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Melvin Frohike: Shut up, punk!

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Melvin Frohike: Why don't you just kick this guy's ass?

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Melvin Frohike: My kung fu is the best.

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Melvin Frohike: Welcome to the dark side.

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Melvin Frohike: Your kung fu is the best.

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Melvin Frohike: You're telling me that the US government, the same government that gave us Amtrak...
Ringo Langly: Not to mention the Susan B. Anthony dollar.
Melvin Frohike: ...Is behind some of the darkest, most far-reaching conspiracies on the planet?

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X: I heard it was a lone gunman.


5X02 Redux

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Mulder: I've held a torch in the darkness to glance upon a truth unknown. An act of faith begun with an ineloquent certainty that my journey promised the chance, not just of understanding, but of recovery. That the disappearance of my sister, twenty-three years ago, would come to be explained. And that the pursuit of these greater truths about the existence of extraterrestrial life might even reunite us. A belief which I now know to be false and uninformed in the extreme. My folly revealed by facts which illuminate both my arrogance and self-deception. If only the tragedy had been mine alone, might it be more easy tonight to bring this journey to its end.

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Mulder: Keep going, FBI woman.

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Scully: Mulder? What are you doing? Why are you sitting in my bedroom in the dark?

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Scully: That would mean that for 4 years we've been nothing more than pawns in a game, that it was a lie from the beginning.

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Michael Kritschgau: What you want most desperately of all.
Mulder: The cure for Scully's cancer?

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Mulder: Scully would have known.

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The Cigarette-Smoking Man: I've never underestimated Mulder. I still don't.

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Walter Skinner: As you compound the lies, you compound the consequences for them.

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Scully: All lies lead to the truth, isn't that right?

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Scully: You're going to use me as I've been used all along. To preserve the lies.


5X03 Redux II

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Walter Skinner: Where you going?
Mulder: ICU.
Walter Skinner: You're moving pretty good for a dead man.
Mulder: I'm only half dead.
Walter Skinner: You have a lot to answer for, Agent Mulder!

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Walter Skinner: You don't want to forget who your friends are, Agent Mulder.

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Mulder: That helps you, how does that help me?

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Scully: If I can save you, let me.

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Mulder: Please tell me you're here with severe chest pain.

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The Cigarette-Smoking Man: I'm here tonight as a friend, Agent Mulder.

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Mulder: One sorry son of a bitch speaking.

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Mulder: If Scully dies, I will kill you. I don't care whose father you are, I will put you down.

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Mulder: We all have our faith, and mine is in the truth.
Scully: Then why did you come here if you'd already made up your mind?
Mulder: Because I knew you'd talk me out of it if I was making a mistake.


5X04 Detour

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Agent Stonecypher: When I stood on Mike's shoulders and I put that electric pencil sharpener on top of the pile, we both knew, we could never have done it alone.
Mulder: Kill me now.

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Mike Kinsley: I couldn't believe how hard it was not to use the word "but".
Mulder: I'm having that same problem right now.

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Mulder:You know, unfortunately, around this time of year I always develop a severe hemorrhoidal condition.

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Scully: Mulder? We've got this conference. They're waiting.
Mulder: Yeah. How do I say this without using any negative words, Scully?
Scully: You want me to tell them that you're not going to make it to this yearís teamwork seminar.
Mulder: Yeah, you see that? We don't need that conference. We have communication like that, unspoken. You know what Iím thinking.

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Mulder: Who cut the cheese?
Scully: Since you won't be making it to the conference...

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Mulder: Partay!
Scully: However, I must remind you this goes against the Bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment.
Mulder: Try any of that Tailhook crap on me, Scully, I'll kick your ass.

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Scully: Sometimes I think some work on your communication skills wouldn't be such a bad idea.

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Mulder: I'll be back soon, and we can build a tower of furniture. 'Kay?

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Mulder: I know these things.

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Scully: Mulder, I need help!

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Scully: What would that be filed next to, "The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati"?
Mulder: No, "The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati" is in the C's. "Moth Men"'s over in the M's.

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Mulder: Indian Guide says maybe you should run to the store and get some matches.
Scully: I would, but I left my wallet in the car.

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Mulder: No! Yes, actually. Yeah.

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Scully: Mulder, you need to keep warm. Your body's still in shock.
Mulder: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who's already naked.
Scully: Well, maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky.

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Mulder: Go, girl.

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Scully: I identified with Betty's bustline.
Mulder: Yes! I did, too.

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Mulder: I don't wanna wrestle.

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Scully: I'm not going to get tired.

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Scully: Mulder, you don't want me to sing. I can't carry a tune.
Mulder: It doesn't matter. Just sing anything.

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Scully: Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine. Never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine.
Mulder: Chorus.
Scully: Joy to the world. All the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me.

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Scully: Mulder? I'm not alone.


5X06 Post-Modern Prometheus

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Mulder: Scully, do you think it's too soon to get my own 1-900 number?

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Scully: Peanut butter sandwiches?
Mulder: You think bologna would be more effective?

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Mulder: Goodnight, Dr. Frankenstein.

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Mulder: I think we found our smoking gun.


5X07 Emily

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Scully: It begins where it ends. In nothingness.

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Mulder: Have you ever seen Mister Potato Head?

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Mulder: Why didn't you call me sooner?
Scully: Because I couldn't believe it. But I need you now to be a witness on my behalf in this hearing.
Mulder: And I should have declined if I never want to see you hurt or harmed in any way.
Scully: Then why are you here?
Mulder: Because I know something that I haven't said. Something that they'll use against you to jeopardize your custody of Emily. No matter how much you love this little girl, she's a miracle that was never meant to be, Scully.

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Doctor: Now, are you two the parents?
Scully: I'm her mother.

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Mulder: How you feeling now? A little more helpful? It's all a setup, you liar! Why don't you tell me what your company's really in the business of. Huh? Abducting women and stealing their unborn children! Medical rapists! That's all you are! Now you're gonna let that little girl die! She's just a lab rat to you! Why don't you tell me whose life is worth saving, yours or hers? I want everything to help that little girl!

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Melvin Frohike: Are you at Adoption Services, Mulder?
Mulder: No, I'm at the maternity ward.
Frohike: Any fetching young mothers in there?
Mulder: Yeah, I think you might have a shot here, Frohike. Do you know anything about pharmaceuticals?
Melvin Frohike: Medicinal or recreational?

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Scully: Who are the men who would create a life whose only hope was to die?
Mulder: I don't know. But that you found her, and you had a chance to love her, then, maybe she was meant for that, too.


5X08 Kitsunegari

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Mulder: Either you come back here on your own, or I drag your sorry ass back on the bumper of my car.

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Scully: How are you feeling?
Mulder: Well, aside from the utter grinding humiliation that comes from knowing I let our suspect go, pretty good.

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Mulder: Okay, look, you do me a favor, Scully. You give me a call when you think I've come to my senses, all right?

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Mulder: Scully, what are you doing here?
Linda Bowman as Scully: You were right about her, Mulder.
Mulder: Scully.
Linda Bowman as Scully: She's making me do this.
Mulder: Where is she?
Linda Bowman as Scully: She's here. Mulder, make her stop. I can't help myself.
Mulder: Linda Bowman!
Linda Bowman as Scully: Mulder, make her stop.
Mulder: Show yourself!
Linda Bowman as Scully: Mulder!
Mulder: No! No!

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Mulder: I'm gonna kill you!
Scully as Linda Bowman: Don't listen to her, Mulder.
Mulder: What?
Scully as Linda Bowman: It's me. You were right about her. Linda Bowman is pushing you.
Mulder: What the hell are you talking about?
Scully as Linda Bowman: I'm Scully. Linda's right behind you, she's telling you I'm her.
Mulder: You killed her!
Scully as Linda Bowman: Mulder, I'm Scully. I'm not dead. She wants you to shoot me. She knows you'll never forgive yourself.
Mulder: Shut up!
Scully as Linda Bowman: Listen to me!
Mulder: Shut up!
Scully as Linda Bowman: Your mother is Tina, your sister is Samantha!
Mulder: Shut up!
Scully as Linda Bowman: Modell warned you. Don't play her game.


5X08 Schizogeny

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Mulder: Hey, Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?


5X10 Chinga

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Mulder: You didnít rent a convertible, did you?
Scully: Why?
Mulder: Are you aware of the statistics of decapitation?
Scully: Mulder, I'm hanging up. I'm turning off my cell phone. I'm back in the office on Monday.
Mulder: You shouldn't, ah, talk and drive at the same time, either. Are you aware of the statistics? Hello?

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Scully: What are you watching, Mulder?
Mulder: It's the World's Deadliest Swarms.

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Scully: Like evidence of conjury or the black arts or shamanism, divination, Wicca or any kind of pagan or neo-Pagan practice. Charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones, or hex signs or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, Santeria, Voudoun, Macumba, or any high or low magic?
Mulder: Scully?
Scully: Yes?
Mulder: Marry me.
Scully: I was hoping for something a little more helpful.
Mulder: Well, you know, short of looking for a lady wearing a pointy hat riding a broomstick, I think you pretty much got it covered there.
Scully: Thanks anyway.

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Scully: I'm on vacation.

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Doll: Let's have fun.

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Mulder: Hey, morning, sunshine!

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Mulder: You're obviously not a fan of American Bandstand, Scully.

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Scully: Well, maybe we need to keep our minds open to extreme possibilities.

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Mulder: I thought you weren't answering your cell phone.
Scully: Then why'd you call?

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Scully: Are there any references in occult literature to objects that have the power to direct human behavior?
Mulder: What types of objects?
Scully: Um, like a doll, for instance.
Mulder: You mean like Chucky?

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Scully: That poster. Where'd you get it?
Mulder: Oh, I got it down on "M" Street at some head shop about five years ago.

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Mulder: There's got to be an explanation.
Scully: Oh, I don't know. I think some things are better left unexplained.


5X11 Kill Switch

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Scully: Mulder, that's evidence!
Mulder: Gee, I hope so.

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Scully: No more screwing around.

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Scully: You believe this load of crap?

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Melvin Frohike: She is so hot!

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Esther Nairn: Are you gonna take off these cuffs, or do I have to do this with my tongue?
Mulder: You don't want to take a vote.

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Scully: I'm going to get you out of here.


5X12 Bad Blood

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Mulder: Oh, shi -

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Scully: Mulder -
Mulder: Don't. Don't even start with me.

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Mulder: Prison, Scully. Your cell mate's nickname is going to be Large Marge. She's going to read a lot of Gertrude Stein.

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Scully: Yesterday morning, when I arrived at work, you were, uh, characteristically exuberant.

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Mulder: Hope you brought your cowboy boots.

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Scully: You're not gonna tell me you think it's that Mexican goat sucker thing.
Mulder: El Chupacabra? No, they got four fangs, not two, and they suck goats, hence the name.

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Mulder: Come on, Scully, get those little legs moving! Come on!

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Mulder: Nice threads!

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Mulder: Dana? He never even knew your first name!
Scully: You're gonna interrupt me or what?
Mulder: No. Go ahead, Dana.

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Scully: Heart weighs 370 grams; tissue appears healthy. Left lung weighs 345 grams; tissue appears healthy. Large intestine, 890 grams, yada yada yada.

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Scully: Having completed the autopsy I checked into the Davey Crockett Motor Court.
Mulder: The name of it was actually the Sam Houston Motor Lodge.

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Scully: What the hell happened to you?
Mulder: Nothing.

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Scully: I just put money in the magic fingers!
Mulder: I won't let it go to waste.

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Mulder: (Gleeful laugh)
Scully: This one's my room, Mulder. Don't get mud everywhere.
Mulder: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

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Scully: Chloral hydrates in the pizza. The pizza guy. Mulder!

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Mulder: Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks? Shaft! Can you dig it? They say this cat, Shaft, is a bad mother. Shut your mouth! Talkin' 'bout Shaft.

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Mulder: I did not!

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Mulder: Yesterday morning began like any other morning. You arrived at the office characteristically less than exuberant.

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Scully: Well, it's obviously not a vampire.
Mulder: Well, why not?
Scully: Because they don't exist?

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Scully: Hoo, boy!

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Scully: He had big buck teeth?
Mulder: He had a slight over bite.
Scully: No, he didn't. And that's significant? How?
Mulder: I'm just trying to be thorough.

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Mulder: Okay, here's something you may not know: Shooting out the tires on a runaway RV is a lot harder than it looks.

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Scully: I spent hours on my feet doing an autopsy, all for you!

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Scully: I do it all for you, Mulder!

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Scully: Don't you touch that bed!

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Scully: And then he sort of flew at me like a flying squirrel?
Mulder: Well, I don't think I'll use the phrase "flying squirrel" when I talk to Skinner, but, yeah, that's what happened.

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Scully: Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
Mulder: Would you stop that?
Scully: It couldn't hurt!
Mulder: Stop it!
Skinner: Scully, Mulder...
Mulder: I was drugged!

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Scully: But he was dead.
Mulder: I noticed that.
Scully: With a stake through his heart.
Mulder: I noticed that, too.

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Scully: Well, I can neither confirm nor deny agent Mulder's version of events which occurred outside my presence.
Mulder: And I can neither confirm nor deny Agent Scully's version of events, but, um...
Scully: Anyway, I was drugged.

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Mulder: Except for the part about the buck teeth.


5X13 Patient "X"

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Alex Krycek: Your authority isn't recognized here.

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Alex Krycek: You tell them to kiss my American ass!

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Jeffery Spender: I'd like to build a reputation here, not be given one.

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Alex Krycek: Well, look who's answering the bat-phone.

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Mulder: Do I look like I'm having fun, Scully?
Scully: You look constipated, actually.

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Mulder: One more anal-probing, gyro-pyro levitating-ecoplasm alien anti-matter story, and I'm gonna take out my gun and shoot somebody.

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Scully: I guess I'm done here. You seem to have invalidated your own work. Have a nice life.

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Scully: You've come a long way, Mulder.


5X14 The Red and the Black

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Mulder: It's time to thank your lucky stars.

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Scully: Why are you laughing?
Mulder: I'm not laughing at you. I'm just very happy to be standing here talking to you, that's all.

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Scully: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

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Alex Krycek: You must be losing it, Mulder. I could beat you with one hand.
Mulder: Isn't that how you like to beat yourself?

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Mulder: If those are my last words, I can do better.

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Alex Krycek: (In Russian) Good luck to you, my friend.


5X16 Mind's Eye

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Scully: The deceased is Paco Ordonez, A.K.A. Little Monster. Street dealer. Liked to use grade school kids as couriers. Out on bail for possession with intent. Two-time loser looking at life.
Mulder: I have the same pair of pants.

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Marty Glenn: Let me guess. Your killer is OJ Simpson.

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Mulder: Even if the gloves do fit, you can still acquit.


5X17 All Souls

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Scully: Are you asking for my help?

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Mulder: Hey, Scully, I'm returning your call.

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Mulder: Aren't you the secret squirrel?

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Mulder: You've got a bona-fide, super-crazy, religious wacko on your hands.

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Mulder: He thinks he's doing God's laundry.

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Scully: But, basically, you're ruling out any element of the supernatural?
Mulder: What do you mean?

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Mulder: Stop right there! Move into the light. Move into the light! Hands where I can see them!

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Mulder: They say when you talk to God it's prayer, but when God talks to you, it's schizophrenia.

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Mulder: I think you should step away.

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Scully: My name is Dana. I'm going to get you out of there, okay?

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Scully: I'm going to take you someplace safe.

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Scully: Emily? Emily? Oh, God.


5X18 The Pine Bluff Variant

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Scully: I have a report to give this morning. I expect you to give me an answer. I expect you to tell me the truth.

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Mulder: We're not all dead?

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Mulder: the only reason I tolerate your methods is because the government's are worse.
Jacob Steven Haley: Wow. What a ringing endorsement.
Mulder: Hey, you came to me, remember? I mean, what more do you want from me? I've risked everything. I've given you information. My partner is seriously suspicious. If that's not enough for you, that's all I've got.

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Scully: There seems to be a problem. A man just told me you gave him keys to my room, room one-thirty.
Hotel Manager: Who are you?
Scully: Who am I? Who is he?
Hotel Manager: Mr. uh, Kaplan.
Scully: Mr. Kaplan.
Hotel Manager: Yes.
Scully: Thank you.
Hotel Manager: Are you the wife?
Scully: Not even close.

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Scully: Exactly what agency are you from? Obviously not the Office of Information.

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Mulder: Ooh, is this the Pepsi Challenge?

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Mulder: Okay, deal me in.

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Jacob Steven Haley: This is just a little method that we use to learn the truth.
Mulder: Well, you might want to put that hood back on me unless you want to see a grown man cry.
Jacob Steven Haley: What happened in the park?
Mulder: I told you on the phone. I was set up. I'm telling the truth. Wait, wait! Wait! I let you go!
Jacob Steven Haley: You're spying on us, aren't you?
Mulder: No. No. No. You want me to lie and say yes? I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch! I'm going to kill you! If I set you up you think I'd even get into the car with this Nazi piece of shi - I risked everything! If I was lying, there'd be federal agents descending on this place like the wrath of God right now. If you touch me again, you'd better kill me!
Jacob Steven: A war is going on, Agent Mulder. Either you're on the right side or the wrong. You've seen the effects of this?
Mulder: Yeah.
Jacob Steven Haley: Would you like to see them again?
Mulder: No, I didn't set you up. If you got set up, it was one of yours!

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Scully: This needs to be set. You're in pain.
Mulder: If you keep pulling it around like that...

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Walter Skinner: You know, I'm getting a bad feeling about this.

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Mulder: If you don't hear from me by midnight, feed my fish.

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Mulder: Tell the gimp to back off.

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Mulder: I have my beliefs.
August Bremer: You willing to die for them?
Mulder I'd prefer it didn't come to that.

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Mulder: I don't need a car. You can just call me a cab, that'd be fine.


5X19 Folie A Deux

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Mulder: Monsters. I'm your boy.

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Mulder: I'm monster boy, right?

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Mulder: Scully, at the risk of you telling me, "I told you so", I think it's time for you to get down here and help me.
Scully: I told you so.

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Scully: Have you slept?

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Scully: Mulder, he was disturbed.
Mulder: Yeah, but did he see it because he was disturbed, or was he disturbed because he saw it?

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Scully: This monster was a sick fantasy, a product of his dementia.
Mulder: I saw it, too. Does that make me disturbed? Demented? Does that make me sick, too?

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Scully: The delusions of one can be passed onto the other.
Mulder: Folie A Deux? It's not that, Scully. It's not Helsinki Syndrome, either. What I saw was real, and there may be a way to prove it.

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Walter Skinner: I don't want to hear another word out of you!

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Mulder: Five years together, Scully. You must have seen this coming.

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Scully: There's only my hope that you'll be able to see past this delusion.
Mulder: You have to be willing to see.
Scully: I wish it were that simple.
Mulder: Scully, you have to believe me. Nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will. You're my one in five billion.

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Mulder: What did you tell him?
Scully: The truth, as well as I understand it.
Mulder: Which is?
Scully: Folie A Deux. A madness shared by two.


5X20 The End

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The Cigarette-Smoking Man: Take your shot, Alex!

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Mulder: What's up?

end3.rm - 11 kb
Mulder: What's wrong with "Baywatch"?
Gibson Praise: You've got a dirty mind.

end4.rm - 7 kb
Mulder: You're insulting me when you should be taking notes.

end5.rm - 5 kb
Scully: I have to disappear for a bit.

end6.rm - 7 kb
Melvin Frohike: To what do we owe the pleasure at this late night hour?

end7.rm - 5 kb
Scully: I need your help.

end8.rm - 7 kb
Melvin Frohike: Ooh, a walk on the wild side.

end9.rm - 17 kb
Mulder: That's all I do. That's all I've been doing for the last five years. Been my life, such as it is.

end10.rm - 5 kb
Scully: Mulder, it's me.

end11.rm - 19 kb
The Cigarette-Smoking Man: Don't become part of someone else's cause or crusade. Pursue your own self-interest. Always.

end12.rm - 15 kb
The Cigarette-Smoking Man: It's all a game. You just take their pieces, one by one until the board is clear.

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Scully: You think I don't care?

end14.rm - 11 kb
The Well-Manicured Man: Your work is done now.
The Cigarette-Smoking Man: My work is just beginning.

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Scully: Well, I'll be here if you need to reach me.

Mulder + Scully = True Love

Disclaimer: The X-Files is copyright Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and The FOX Network. No money is being made from this. No copyright infringement is intended.