Disclaimer: Nope, these characters aren't mine. Category: SRA Classification: MSR Rating: PG Spoilers: Requiem Archive: Gossamer. Spookys. Further X. Others ask me. Feedback: Knock yourself out. Summary: Can Scully face a future without Mulder? Thanks to: shoshana and Sara Lynn for the beta help. "Attached" (1/2) by Lisa (haven599@msn.com) Would it ever get better? This was the question Scully constantly asked herself over the weeks since Mulder had been taken. That morning when Byers, Langly, and Frohike walked into her hospital room with such somber looks on their faces, she knew it couldn't be good news. Byers was the designated spokesman, solemnly telling her of Mulder's disappearance. Scully tried not to cry in front of them, but the tears slipped out anyway. She quickly wiped them away before reaching for Byers' hand and squeezing it tightly. The three of them quietly left her room, vowing they'd do everything in their power to find Mulder. Skinner convinced her to take a couple weeks off, considering her situation. Pregnancy was a situation? She could tell he was uncomfortable discussing this with her -- perhaps he wanted to ask her if it was Mulder's child but feared his question would be appropriate or offensive in some way. It wouldn't be. Mulder was the father. It was Mulder's baby. Their child. Together. Even though Scully had spoken the words aloud, it didn't make it seem anymore real to her until she started doing some reading and believing that there really was a life growing inside her. A child. Their child. Scully tried to follow her supervisor's advice and take some time away from work, but all she did was get upset and worry about Mulder constantly. She tried to focus her mind on something else. She went to a bookstore to buy a book about pregnancy, but it also contained special chapters for the father-to-be and Scully could barely skim through it without becoming upset. The Internet provided a wealth of information as well. One particular site told her each week out how the baby was developing, bringing a smile to her face every time. The doctor appointments were difficult. She had to make excuses for the father not being here, saying that next month he'll try and get off work to make it. The staff probably felt he wasn't interested in being a parent to his child. Scully prayed that next month he'd be able to come the doctor's office with her. The sonogram photo hung forlornly on the refrigerator door, Scully being its only viewer. ++++ Being at work at least focused her mind on something other than Mulder. The X-Files were closed down temporarily and Scully was being given assignments that utilized her medical background. She worked with many new agents in the Bureau, allowing her to expand her horizons a bit more. At first, other agents expressed their sympathies and treated her with kid gloves, as if she were Mulder's widow. Perhaps they were trying to find out if he was the father of her baby. The pregnancy was becoming noticeable. What if Mulder never came back? Scully awoke in the middle of the night from a dream, a nightmare in which she had to identify Mulder's body. It scared her so much that she spent the rest of the night dwelling on that horrible possibility. Was she prepared to raise their child alone? Their child would be deprived of a loving man whom would make a wonderful father. The possibility of single motherhood never entered her mind during her adult life. Would her memories and recollections of Mulder be enough for their child to get a clear picture of its father's life? She doubted so. How could she even begin to tell their child what happened to him? Was she prepared for a future without Mulder? Scully tried to ready herself for that reality, but it was so hard to believe he wouldn't be back. After all, she was returned to him, shouldn't he be returned to her? It was only logical. She was trying so hard to be optimistic. The night before Mulder left she had not been with him. They were both at their respective apartments. Scully said good bye to him the next morning, giving him her cross necklace to let him know she would always be with him in spirit. After an all too brief kiss good bye, he drove himself to the airport to meet Skinner. Since Mulder was so adamant that she not go, Scully was glad Skinner was going to look after him on the trip. But even Skinner couldn't stop what happened. No one could. The memories always came flooding back in the middle of the night. The first time they made love was in this bed - on a cold night in January, a few weeks after the new millennium had begun. It was a Friday so they had spent the rest of the weekend together, never leaving the apartment once. She feared the coming Monday, thinking the spell would be broken, but Mulder whispered to her late Sunday night that nothing would change, no one could separate them now. It could only get better. That night in Oregon when Mulder had held her close beside him, both were unaware that the life they created was grew inside her. Scully felt horrible during that trip and feared the worst with respect to her health. Pregnancy never entered her mind as an option for her. When she heard the cause of her symptoms, Scully told the nurse she must be mistaken and requested the test be done again. The second test just confirmed what she thought impossible - she was going to have a baby! A myriad of emotions flowed through her body, but her mind settled on the conversation she and Mulder had a few days earlier: 'There's so much more you need to do with your life.' Perhaps this was it. She never had the opportunity to tell him that he was going to be a father by the end of the year. Scully rested her hand across her abdomen, feeling closer to her lover and their baby with this simple gesture. ++++ The next morning, Scully was trying to catch up on paperwork, when the ringing of the phone interrupted her train of thought. she thought about ignoring it, but perhaps it was of the calls she was waiting for. She picked up the phone. "Hello?" The faint sound of someone breathing came through the receiver. Scully was about to hang up when she heard her name spoken very softly by the caller. "Mulder? Is that you?" ++++ END (1/2) Like what you read? Come to Lisa's Haven: http://shannono.simplenet.com/haven/