TITLE: BACK IN THE DAY (1 of 2)

AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE

CLASSIFICATION: POST-EP FOR "RUSH"

RATING: PG

SPOILERS: RUSH, SMALL POTATOES, MILAGRO

Send any feedback to ottercrk@sover.net

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've never written a story where Mulder and Scully just sat
around and chewed the fat. First time for everything, I guess.

Another thing -- I'm not sure where Scully lives exactly so I'm not sure if
her jogging route would take her close to Mulder's route. Give me a little
leeway here.

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"I was young and foolish then.
"I feel old and foolish now."
                                    ---They Might Be Giants

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Ouch.

Fox Mulder leaned against a mailbox as a muscle in his leg jittered. Its
spasms were like those of a mouse trying to escape a trap. He waited for the
muscle to settle down as well as for the burning sensations in his lungs to
go away. He bent over and took long breaths. He wiped the sweat from his
face. He waited.

And he waited.

Then he realized the feeling of weariness was not going away quickly. The
muscle had stopped throbbing, but the urge to sit down was almost
overwhelming. He became determined to fight it and continued his early
morning jog.

It took a couple of blocks before his determination started to seem
laughable. It seemed even more laughable when he spotted a couple jogging on
the sidewalk across the street. They were a man and a woman, both in their
mid-twenties. They ran with such a fluid, casual ease. Their bodies were
lean and inexhaustible. Mulder prayed that they wouldn't look in his
direction and see the plodding, sweating, hyperventilating *older* man. At
best, they would laugh. At worse, they would try to help him, thinking
Mulder was having a heart attack.

With his mind on the young couple, Mulder accidentally turned a corner off
from his usual jogging route. That's how he ended up seeing someone he
wanted to see even less.

She was heading his way, also sweating and breathing hard. Like him, she was
dressed in grey sweats. Also like him, she didn't want to see the person
heading for them.

However, the encounter couldn't be avoided. They slowed down their pace
until they stopped in front of each other on the sidewalk.

"Hey," he said, trying to stand upright and keep his voice from sounding
like an asthmatic wheeze.

"Hey," Dana Scully responded.

"I didn't know you jogged."

"Yeah, I've been...doing it...for awhile."

"Ah."

Neither of them spoke for a few moments. Air whistled in and out of their
noses.

"I guess...we both changed our route a little today," Mulder commented.

"M-hm."

"I mean, we must have been...you know...jogging..."

"Yeah..."

"...parallel to each other for..."

"For years."

"Funny."

"Yeah. Funny."

Another pause. Then Mulder said --

"It's strange that I didn't know about your...your jogging habits."

"Obviously, you've never noticed my fit calves."

"What?"

"Never mind." She placed her hands on her hips. "Well...I guess we better
get back at it..."

"Uh-huh."

They stood there, their damp socks itching at their feet.

"Of course," Scully said. "it's kind of neat that we should finally run into
each other..."

"Oh, yeah..."

"...after, you know, all these..."

"Mmmm."

"...years."

"Right."

"So...why don't we just...."

"Take a break?"

"Yeah, there's a McDonald's just down the block."

"I know. Orange juice?"

"Sounds good."

They both headed to the fast-food restaurant with what they hoped was a
casual stride. However, after they had reached the McDonald's and bought
their orange juice, they sat down and simultaneously released loud,
contented sighs.

They looked at each other.

Then they smiled.

"Ah, Scully..."

"I know, Mulder."

"We'll be wheelchair detectives by next year."

"Oh, come on. You're a very healthy man."

"Thank you. And I *have* noticed your fit calves. But...we are still not the
people of our youth."

"Am I to take it that our last case has left you contemplating your age?"

"Teenagers always leave me contemplating my age. Especially when they can
break the sound barrier."

Scully leaned back in her chair. "Mulder, I have stood with you against
government conspiracies, mutants, serial killers and everything else bumping
in the night. With your mid-life crisis, however, you're on your own."

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you haven't been thinking about life 'back in
the day' and just how far away it seems."

"A little bit. And it makes me glad how far away my youth is now."

"Ah." Mulder placed his elbows on the table. "Do I detect a bit of regret
over some teenage stupidity?"

Scully looked at Mulder as she sipped her orange juice. Then she said, "It
has been my observation that stupidity is not a trait reserved strictly for
the under-eighteen crowd."

Mulder's lips twisted into half-of-a-smile and half-of-a-wince. "Touche," he
replied. He looked at his partner. With her body in grey sweats and her red
hair tied back into a short ponytail, she gave him an idea of how she looked
'back in the day.'

He said, "Still, there are certain embarrassments that feel like they could
have only happened in your youth."

"Well...I guess so."

Mulder scratched his lip and said in a dreamy way, "Caroline, Amanda and
Abigail..."

"Huh?"

"Oh, uh...forget it."

"No, what did you say? Caroline and who?"

Mulder sighed and said, "Caroline, Amanda and Abigail."

"And they were?"

Mulder looked away. "Participants in a comedy from my youth."

Scully kept her eyes on Mulder until he turned to her and said, "You're just
dying to know, aren't you?"

"I am a little curious, to tell the truth."

"Even though the story would humiliate and embarrass your trusted partner?"

"Now, I'm very curious."

Mulder looked down at his cup. Only a few drops of orange juice were left.
Without raising his eyes, he said, "Imagine four teenagers in a car driving
in the middle of the night. Jethro Tull is playing on the radio..."

"Oh, my, this story is embarrassing already."

"I'm in the driver's seat. Next to me in the car is Abigail Wagner, an
irresistibly perky cheerleader. In the back is Caroline Dern, a drama
student who always gets the role of the temptress. Next to her is Amanda
Freeman. the smart and sexy valedictorian. All four of us are heading
for..."

"Wait a minute. You have three women in the car with you?"

"Yep. Three pretty women." Mulder lifted his eyebrows. "Even back then, I
had that brooding loner quality which drew in the ladies."

"Mulder, do you want me to vomit all over you?"

"Come on, Scully. You saw the way Chastity was looking at me."

"Don't remind me. So, why were you in the car with three pretty young
women?"

"They invited me onto a little night trip of theirs. Back then, the three of
them were a close trio. In fact, it was rumored that they were *very*
close."

Scully ran the word 'very' through her mind, then rolled her eyes and said,
"Oh, for pity's sake..."

"Well, it's what most of the males at my high school thought."

"On the basis of what?"

"On the basis of...that it seemed like a real good idea to us."

Scully shook her head. "It's incredible. For the life of me, I'll never
understand this particular infatuation of the straight male psyche..."

"Okay, Scully."

"They ought to call it 'The David E. Kelley Syndrome...'"

"OKAY, Scully."

"I think Freud's theory of the castrated male explains why..."

"Scully, if you're going to start quoting Freud, I'm not going to tell you
the rest of my story."

"All right. Fine. You were in a car with three alleged lesbians..."

"We were all headed for their 'private spot' as they called it."

"Their 'private spot?'"

"M-hm. The Southhill Pond. Way out at the edge of town."

"Why were you with them?"

"I told you. I was a brooding loner. And sensitive, to boot. The ladies love
those qualities."

"You mean, it was a pity-thing."

Mulder ran his tongue over the roof of his mouth. "Anyway...we arrive at
Southhill Pond..."

"Is Jethro Tull still playing on the radio?"

"No. Foghat."

"Just as good."

"Caroline, Amanda and Abigail tell me they're going to leave me alone for a
moment. They go off into this little grove of trees next to the pond. I can
hear them giggling. Now, I'm thinking, 'Oh, boy, oh, boy, this is it...'"

"'Oh, boy, oh, boy?'"

"Well, something along those lines. I take my clothes off..."

"You what?"

"I took my clothes off. Disrobed. Got naked as the day as I was born."

"Why?"

"Well, because I thought  *they* were going to get naked. Or something.
Or...I don't know."

"And why did you think..."

"Scully, are you going to keep interrupting me?"

Scully held back a smile. "I'm sorry. Please continue."

"Well, just as I reached the point of...total nudity, I hear them return. I
turn around and notice three things.

"One, they're all fully clothed.

"Two, they're all holding cigarettes. I realized that this was the reason
they hung out together. They were all chain-smokers.

"Three...they are looking at me as if I was completely insane. Don't say it,
Scully."

Scully held back her comment.

"Of course, they realize that I was also horny as well as insane. The
evidence was...well...standing there before them."

Scully lowered her head and pressed a hand over her eyes.

"They also realize that I had heard the rumors about them and I had thought
we were going to get it on like...I don't know...Kenau Reeves and the three
vampire ladies in 'Dracula.'"

Mulder ignored the snort coming from out of Scully's nose.

"Well, Abigail says, 'Oh, gross!'

"Caroline says, 'I thought you were better than the others!'

"And Amanda says, 'You, Fox Mulder, have the emotional maturity of a
termite.'"

"So, then they left you there with your dashed expectations."

"No. First, they threw me into the pond. Then, they snatched my clothes and
my keys. The next thing I know, the car was driving off. I was left with
nothing *but* dashed expectations."

Scully looked at Mulder for a long, long time.

Then, she said, "I take it that the return home is an epic in of itself."

"One for another time, if I ever will tell it."

Scully rolled her cup in her fingers and nodded. "Yep, Mulder. That is a
mighty embarrassing story."

"It is, indeed. Now it's your turn."

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