Title: Coming Home (1/1)
Author: Cara Taylor 
Classification: S, MSR
Rating: G
Spoilers: Requiem. It's all about Requiem baby!
Also Millennium.
Summary: Mulder's unconscious in an 
unrecognizable world where his only connection to 
the life he had before is standing in front of a 
shield 
Disclaimer: The X-Files, Dana Scully and Fox 
Mulder all belong to the amazing Chris Carter and 
1013 Productions. I'm not making any money off 
this.   
Feedback: If you want to say anything, I'm always happy to 
get e-mail! You can reach me at redciel@hotmail.com       
My own little personal input: There are a lot of things in this 
story that are left to the reader's imagination. At first I 
wrote in how things are in this world (such as clothing), 
but I erased it when I realized that it's much more fun to 
visualize and imagine these things yourself. Keep an open 
mind and enjoy!    

---------

My mind is numb. I feel invaded, but I don't know 
why. I'm tired, yet every time I close my eyes I'm 
forced to open them again. It seems as though a 
thin piece of glass is shielding me from the 
outside world. I'm in a world where I don't 
belong. I can't think to the past and I can't 
wonder about the future. I can't. I desperately 
want think about something, either one, but my 
mind won't allow me to. I'm stuck.

I close my eyes for a few seconds. Why can't I 
sleep? I open them. How many days just passed by? 
How crucial is every second in what has now become 
my life? Why am I forced to stare into blackness? 
I close my eyes again. I feel like it's been 
months now. Months since what, though? Why? All I 
want is to travel back in time. I just want to 
think of something else besides the present. I try 
as hard as I can to let my thoughts be focused on 
something else, but the shield stops me.
	
----------

Something is new. Something has changed. For the 
first time in I don't know how long, I can feel. 
The blackness that once surrounded me has turned 
into whiteness. My body tingles. I feel... I feel 
as though I'm being injected with life. My mind is 
full of energy. Am I alive or am I dead? I can't 
tell. I still can't move for the transparent piece 
of thin glass prevents me from doing so.  Is 
heaven supposed to be this plain looking? How did 
I die? I can't be dead. If I was dead then I 
wouldn't feel free?

Scully. Who is Scully? I adjust the frames in my 
mind, hoping that the image will become clearer. I 
see a woman with red hair, creamy skin and 
piercing blue eyes. Is it this woman who has put 
me in a trance? I'm behind the shield, and this 
woman, Scully, is in front of it. However, she 
keeps her distance from the glass, making the 
spacing between us more than it should be. Scully 
stands in the whiteness, staring at me. She can 
talk, I can tell by her moving lips, but I can't 
hear her. Something in my head tells me that her 
name is Scully. I like what I can see, it's the 
most I've seen since... Nothingness invades my 
thoughts. Everything is blank except for this 
picture in front of me. Am I imagining this? Is 
this woman real? 

As she stares at me, I stare at her. Her 
expression stays the same. I enjoy looking at her. 
She's beautiful. Is this a luxury in the world I 
live in? Who is allowing me to see this woman? 
Even when I close my eyes, her image remains in my 
mind. I want her facial expression to change. I 
want to touch her. I don't know why, though.
	
-----------

I open my eyes. I can lick my lips. The woman 
continues to stare at me. Scully. Scully. Scully. 
"Scully." That voice... Was that my voice? 
"Scully." How incredibly wonderful this is. I can 
talk! I have a voice! "Scully, Scully, Scully." 
The voice in my head tells me I can do more. 
"Scully!" I say louder than before. "Scully!" I 
shout the name now. I'd almost feel free if it 
weren't for the damn shield. 

I focus at the image of the stunning woman. 
"Scully." Suddenly, her facial expression changes. 
The corners of her rosy lips turn upwards, into a 
smile. A surge of electricity runs through my 
body. Her lips and eyes are smiling at me. I try 
to return the smile, but the only thing I can do 
is say her name. 

This electricity in me, what is it? Has more life 
been injected into me? Why do I want to stare at 
the woman so much? Still smiling, her lips move. I 
can't hear anything. She seems so close, yet miles 
and miles away at the same time. My horizons have 
expanded. More life injections? I'm not sure. But, 
I can feel the electricity in my body and...in my 
heart. My heart is pounding so much that I close 
my eyes and I purposely picture whiteness. The 
sight at this smiling woman is almost too much for 
me to handle. 

"Scully," I repeat. I desperately want to hold 
this smiling woman. This feeling... I feel 
healthy. I know that I'm alive. As I look at 
Scully's beautiful face, I know that I'm alive 
because of her. Why else would she be looking at 
me? Why else would I feel this electricity? I 
continue to look at her face, partly because I 
want to, partly because there's nowhere else to 
look. 

----------

I've grown more and more tired. I'm not sure if 
I've slept, or if I've imagined it. The whiteness 
still surrounds me. I'm tingling more than I did 
before. I can see my body. Of course I can see my 
body. When was the last time I didn't see my body? 
I adjust my eyes and look at my hands. It feels 
like it's the first time I've ever seen them. I 
look down at my toes. One, two, three, four, five. 
Five toes and five fingers. Why does this feel 
like a new discovery?   

I gently bite my tongue. The woman, Scully, is 
still standing in front of the glass separating 
us. She's no longer smiling. Her face is 
expressionless. There's something very reassuring 
having her close to me. Like she's watching over 
me, protecting me.  

"Scully." This is not enough. "Scully!" I need 
more. I need help. I want to getaway from here. I 
need assistance. I need...."Help me!" 

My lungs are suddenly filled with air that I 
didn't know existed. "Help me!" I shout. "Help! 
Scully, help me!" I shout as loud as I can. Her 
once expressionless face is now full of concern. 
"Help!" I scream again. Her eyes are filled with 
panic. Is this good? Or, have I done something 
wrong? What do I do? "Help," I whisper. She still 
looks concerned. Is that a tear? Did I make Scully 
cry? Why is she crying? The questions soon 
disappear along with the rest of my existence. 
	
-----------

What just happened? It seems as though I've been 
born again. Again? When was I first born? Nothing 
makes sense. Scully is still in her respectful 
place, staring at me, watching over me. Perhaps, 
she's not watching over me at all. Maybe I've 
completely reversed our roles. What if I'm an 
angel and I'm watching over her? Well, I certainly 
haven't been doing a good job if I'm an angel. I 
can't be an angel. It doesn't make sense. If I was 
an angel, I would be able to move.

Right now, that's all I can't think of. Tension 
squeezes me together and all I want is to break 
apart from this small space. Why can't I move? I 
need to move! I need to be free! I just want get 
out of here. Be somewhere. Be hidden. Be on the 
other side of this glass, standing with Scully. 
Why is this so hard? Why am I here? Where do I 
belong? 

This is it. I close my eyes. I see my body in my 
head. There, I'm free. My imagination allows me to 
move where I want. Now I want to move on the other 
side of the glass. I close my eyes tighter and try 
to imagine this. Why isn't the message going 
through? Why can I think the words yet not imagine 
the actions? I can't see myself beside Scully. I 
can see myself moving, just not moving far.

It is in this very instant that I tell my brain to 
connect with my body. Air moves below and above my 
arm as I swing in back and forth. I laugh. I 
didn't know I could laugh, and it feels damn good. 
I stop moving my arm, and I take a step forward. I 
lose my balance, but quickly regain it. I don't 
know how I regained it. Something inside of me 
must have told me that I didn't want to fall, 
because I'm still standing. Scully, on the other 
side of the glass, doesn't seem interested. I'm 
moving! Doesn't she want to see? She spends so 
much time staring at me, that it would make sense 
for her to make that smile that she made before.

"Scully!" I yell as I take a few steps forward on 
the whiteness around me. I move towards the glass 
that divides us. "Scully!" Her head isn't facing 
me. I need her to look at me. She needs to see me 
walking, that I'm doing better than I was before. 
"Scully, look!" I say. I feel a sharp pain my head 
as I speak a new word for the first time since... 
Since I don't know when. All I know is that I now 
can speak it.

"Look!" I take a few more steps until I reach the 
glass. Impulsively, I touch the smooth material. I 
scowl at myself; I shouldn't have assumed that it 
wasn't dangerous to touch it. Though, has anything 
been dangerous in this whiteness? Is nothing 
dangerous because of Scully's constant presence? 
	
I try to push the glass shield, hoping that I can 
go to the other side. It doesn't budge. I push 
harder, sure that I'll get through. Nothing 
happens. I wonder why Scully doesn't help me out. 
She seems to be very interested in me, wouldn't 
she want to help? She stands with her arms 
crossed, with a mostly plain looking face, saved 
for the fact that she's visibly tired. She looks 
cold and lonely. I want to warm her up and comfort 
her. 

I bang on the glass. "Scully!" Why won't this damn 
thing break? I bang with as much energy as I have, 
and I'm surprised how much force I have. Still, 
nothing happens. The glass remains as a divider 
between Scully and I. I'm still confused as to why 
Scully doesn't help me. Even though I'm closer to 
her now than as was before, when I couldn't move, 
she seems even farther away. Like an unachievable 
dream.        

-----------

Her lips are moving. I wonder, is she talking to 
me? She's certainly looking at me. I want to know 
her better. I want to know why she's here, among 
the whiteness. I put both of my hands on the 
glass. In a feeble attempt to hear her voice, I 
press my ear against the glass. Nothing. I look at 
her face. A small smile plays on her lips as she 
says something. Her lips then stop, and then move 
again. It almost appears as though her lips keep 
making the same movements, over and over again. 

I squint my eyes and concentrate on Scully's lips. 
She's most definitely repeating something. Again. 
It's three words. Again, again and again. I mimic 
her movements. Long, wide, and a circle. I repeat 
the movements just as she does. Again, again and 
again. "I love you," I finally say. "I love you. I 
love you. I love you." The letters fit into my 
brain like puzzles pieces. A tingling sensation 
pumps in my chest. No, not in my chest...pumps in 
my heart. The way Scully makes me feel is magical. 
It's... love. "Scully, I love you," I murmur, 
knowing that she can't hear me. 
	
I wish so bad that she could hear me. Even more, I 
wish I could hear her. She has so much to say. 
And, it's all to me. She's my lifeline. I don't 
even know why she's here, or how I know her, but I 
know what love is, and I know I love her. She's 
opening up my brain, my heart, and my spirit. Just 
like my love for her is magical, her presence is 
magical. Her beautiful face is all I want to see, 
and I know that beyond the great divide, there's 
more that lies beneath her surface. There's so 
much more. 

I close my eyes and try to think of the things I 
want to say to Scully. Yet, when I try to speak 
the words, nothing comes out. My lips won't even 
move. It won't always be like this, I know. Things 
are improving. I'm growing as a person and getting 
stronger by the minute. I don't know why I'm 
getting stronger or why it's so important that I 
continue to improve, but I strive to get better. 
Where am I is not where I belong. There's more 
beyond the whiteness that has become my life. 
Somewhere, there's a place where I'm meant to be, 
and eventually I'll get there with Scully by my 
side. 

------------    	 
	 	 
She must have some kind of life. It's not possible 
for Scully to be with me every second. It just 
doesn't make any sense. She stands on the other 
side of the glass, usually with her arms crossed, 
usually with her lips moving. It's almost as if... 
as if she's waiting for me to join her on the 
other side. She's expecting me to come around. 
Does she spend every passing second of her life 
standing there? It's not possible. Is she really 
here? Or she a figment of my imagination?

Suddenly, Scully scratches a spot on her cheek. 
There must have been a time when I touched that 
same spot. Even a time where I may have placed my 
lips there. There must have been a time when I've 
held tight in my arms... Maybe that's why I long 
to hold her right now. Did I tuck a strand of her 
auburn hair behind her ear? Did I ever kiss those 
luscious lips? Did I ever have her in the first 
place?

Like a bolt of lightning in my head, 
unrecognizable images of Scully and I appear in my 
mind. I cry out in pain. It's too overwhelming. 
When I finally go blank, I realize that my 
thoughts come from somewhere. I have memories. 
Memories of being in love with Scully. As I look 
at Scully, I let the memories rush into my head, 
banging on the glass every time a memory causes a 
sharp pain. I see myself on New Years Eve, kissing 
her on the lips for the first time. I see myself 
holding her tight in a hospital. I see us making 
passionate love. 

Tears swell up in my eyes as I remember the life I 
once had. My name is Fox William Mulder. That 
beautiful woman standing on the other side of the 
glass is Dana Katharine Scully. We work together 
as FBI agents and fell in love on the job. I trust 
her and only her. She's my lifeline in this world, 
and my lifeline in the world I used to live in.
 
"Scully..." My voice cracks. The tears won't stop 
rushing down my cheeks. I lean my body against the 
glass, trying to get as close to her as possible. 
"Scully!" There's so much more I want to say but 
the words can't come out. I let the memories sink 
in instead.

------------

"Mulder."

I look at Scully, but her mouth is closed. Did she 
just say that? I don't look away. She repeats my 
name and I find my heart racing. I can hear her!

"How much longer are we going to have to be this 
way?" She asks. I want to answer her question. 
Yet, even if I could talk, I wouldn't have an 
answer. I continue to listen to her soothing 
voice. It fills me up with magic. "Get better, 
Mulder." 

Hidden in the back of my mind is the explanation 
why I need to get better. Scully makes everything 
connect. I remember being in Oregon, I remember 
some sort of spaceship. Everything else after that 
it blank. I'm not sure if it's because its been 
erased, or if it's because I don't have a way to 
remember. Whatever the circumstances are of my 
condition, I need to get better so I can fix the 
connection between Scully and I. We need to be 
together. 

This whiteness that has now become my world... I'm 
in a coma, aren't I? Again, I don't know why I'm 
in this state. This glass... My life is on the 
other side. Well, that's obvious seeing that 
Scully is there. All of this is in my head. The 
glass wall dividing Scully isn't really here. I 
punch the glass, expecting my fist to go through 
the other side. While I don't feel pain, the glass 
doesn't break or suddenly disappear. Then... then 
it must be there. How the hell do I get on the 
other side with Scully? Maybe I don't get on the 
other side. Maybe I'm dying. 

------------

I open my eyes. How much happens in the course of 
a blink? Can the world change during that time? It 
seems so in this world of whiteness. My tiredness 
never represented a need to sleep, it represented 
weakness. If I'm in a coma, how can I sleep? I'm 
already asleep. I live inside my brain.

"Mom came by yesterday and she sat beside you for 
two hours, Mulder. I came by to sit with you, but 
I stopped when I saw her with you through the 
window of the hospital. She held your hand and 
kept her eyes closed. For a moment, she looked 
exactly like Melissa. She said that she could feel 
you getting stronger. Are you, Mulder? According 
to everyone in the last six months, you've been 
getting better, getting healthier. How much 
longer, Mulder? Another six months?"

I'm stung by her words. She's bitter. She must 
feel as though I've deserted her. Shouldn't she 
realize that I don't want to wait? That I would do 
anything to be with her? Her distressing attitude 
is now not the only thing that's aching my heart. 
I can't believe that I've been comatose for six 
months. Every time I blink, how many days pass by? 
Why am I so alone in this world? And, if Scully 
hasn't been the only one sitting by my bedside, 
how come she's the only person I can see? 

I wonder about this for a while. I finally 
conclude it's because our hearts are so in tuned. 
Though, I'm still not sure if she came into the 
whiteness to watch over me, or if I brought her 
here to keep me company. What I do know is that 
she's healing me.

"I went to the doctor yesterday, and everything is 
fine." 

What? Doctor? Was it a check up to make sure that 
she was still in remission? Probably. 

"We're doing just fine." 

I try to put together what she just said. She went 
to the doctor and everything is fine. That makes 
sense. She and I are doing fine? That doesn't make 
sense. Don't think, just listen.

"Mom is so desperate to find out the sex." 

What? I know that doesn't make sense. They already 
know that I'm a boy...  
 
"But I'm keeping my word, Mulder. I want to be 
left in the dark as much as you. Besides, I think 
it's better when it's a surprise."

It?

"Mom gave me a list of a whole bunch of unisex 
names like Jordan, Cory, Jamie. They're nice names 
and all, but I want us to come up with a name 
together. This baby is just as much yours as it is 
mine. We have to do these things together when you 
get better."

"You're pregnant?!" I shout. Everything comes 
crashing down in that instant. The sound of my 
voice saying something new, the shock of Scully 
being pregnant... Scully being pregnant... "I got 
you pregnant?" I ask, thinking that I'll get an 
answer. "How is that possible, Scully? You're 
barren. I held the proof in my hands, Scully. How? 
How?"

In a matter of seconds, the shock remained but 
contentment joined it. "I'm going to be a father!" 
All the words are rushing to my head. Coming out 
of my mouth. Connection. "Scully, everything you 
wanted. A chance for motherhood! We're going to be 
parents. I can't believe this...  A miracle 
Scully. This is our miracle."
     
I look at Scully, can she hear me? She's no longer 
talking about the baby. She stopped talking 
altogether. Is it because she was listening to me? 
Could she feel my reaction? No. If she could, then 
she would respond. I can hear her, but she can't 
hear me... that's not fair. I wish I could answer 
her question from before. How much longer? 

----------

Hours... days... months... I've missed too much of 
my life. I'm almost ready to surrender to the 
whiteness and let this world swallow me into 
blackness. 

"Scully, I want you to hear me." Her expression 
stays the same. "I want to be with you. I want to 
hold you, comfort you and feel your touch. I love 
you." No reaction on her part.

"Mulder, I miss you."    

I smile. If her words hadn't been so delayed, I 
may have thought that she actually heard me 
speaking.

"So much has changed. I couldn't keep your 
apartment because the rent was too much after a 
while. I felt so guilty after I moved most of your 
things into my apartment. I felt like I was taking 
away some of our best memories," Scully's voice 
quivers. Her blue eyes become glassy as tears 
start to fall. She's falling apart. 

"Scully, it's okay. There are so many more 
memories for us to make. Besides, our memories 
don't exist in material things, they exist in our 
hearts," I say as if this will make her feel 
better.

"There are so many people who've tried to help me. 
Nothing has been the same since you left. I try to 
pretend as if everything it fine, but it's not. 
When you came back, I thought it would be a matter 
of days before you woke up. But it hasn't been 
like that, Mulder. I've never felt so lonely in my 
life. I don't want to be this way, but I just 
can't help feeling so alone and weak."

"You're not weak, Scully. Just keep holding on." I 
put my hands flat on the glass that divides us. 

"I want to speak to you, Mulder. I wish you could 
hear me...I need you." She tries to wipe the tears 
from her eyes, but they won't stop. 

It had never occurred to me that Scully could be 
feeling the same way as me. Does she see the glass 
wall that separates us? Can she feel my love for 
her the way I can feel her love? 

"I can hear you, Scully. Just come closer. I want 
to close this space between us as much as 
possible."

Silence falls upon the whiteness. My heart is 
racing. I watch Scully intensely, hoping that she 
can sense my need for her. She takes a step in the 
direction of the glass. It's not enough. "Scully, 
please." She has a slow, but fluid walk. I laugh 
at our success as she approaches the glass wall. 
There's no doubt that Scully is my soul mate.   

She stands in front of the glass, facing me. 
"We're so close, Scully. Just a bit more and we'll 
be even closer. Touch the glass." I put my hand 
lower so that her hand can match up with mine. Her 
eyes focus on her hand as she looks at it with 
confusion. She knows that I want her to do 
something but she can't hear my pleas. She can 
only feel them. Scully's small hand slowly matches 
up with mine. A few moments later, her other hand 
does the same. She looks up. Our eyes meet. We 
both smile through our tears. 

I feel what I've been calling life injections 
surge through my body like a wave of pleasure. My 
hands are now suddenly touching hers. The glass 
doesn't exist anymore. I feel her body in my arms. 
The whiteness disappears.

"Welcome home, Mulder." 

Fin
--------

And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love 
You make
-The Beatles