TITLE: In Need
AUTHOR: Joseph G
CATEGORY: MSR, V, A
RATING: PG
FEEDBACK: Oh, please... <JosephG42@yahoo.com>
ARCHIVE: Sure, just let me know where you want to put it.
SPOILERS: all things, Requiem
DISCLAIMER: Sadly, ALL of the characters belong to CC, 1013, and
Fox.
SUMMARY: Scully finds a brief respite in the weeks after Mulder's
abduction.


In Need
Joseph G

Stopped at a red light in downtown D.C., Scully waited patiently
for the light to turn. Outside her dark blue sedan, the night was
silent, definite. Buildings long closed at this hour held an
eerie sense of abandonment, as if they were not destined to
embrace the hustle and bustle of the city in only a few short
hours. Trees and shrubs meant to add refinement to passing
federal buildings left crooked shadows over deserted streets.
When finally the light shone green, Scully pressed her foot to
the accelerator, her actions on auto pilot as, unnoticed, the
surrounding urban environment soon gave way to the quiet suburbia
of Alexandria.

Instead, her thoughts were turned inward, towards the last time
she had made this trek in the middle of the night.

When she and Mulder had left each other in the Hoover Building's
parking garage, all but deserted at that time of night, they had
both been bone weary. Much earlier that evening, as they returned
from the hallway outside the conference room, both silent and
spoken promises made, their counterparts had chosen not to
acknowledge their brief disappearance. Instead, they had been
engulfed in plans for a return trip to Oregon, garnering only
slight surprise from the guys and Skinner when they announced
Scully would not be joining her partner on the trip back. When
finally plans had been reworked over and over, concreted, Mulder
and Scully had left the building, speaking little as both were
thinking of what possible consequences this trip, and more
significantly, their separation might bring. Alone at last in the
gloomy and nearly vacant parking garage, neither had been quick
to break the silence.

Finally Scully spoke, "You should get home and get some rest
Mulder, you still have to pack and you've got a long day ahead of
you tomorrow."

"Yeah, trekking through the Oregon woods looking for an alien
ship with no one to keep me company except a hard-nosed ex-marine
who also happens to be my boss," Mulder replied.

Scully's lips had turned up affectionately at her partner's rant,
and as she turned her head up to face him, their eyes met in
silent conversation. As always their eyes spoke volumes when
words became inadequate.

"Mulder," Scully spoke, searching for the right words, "be
careful, okay?" quickly adding,"And call when you land, and when
you get back, I want to know everything that happened."

"Scully," Mulder spoke, "you'll be the first to know. Always."
With his last word Mulder had dropped his eyes. Reaching forward
with his right hand he tugged gently on the hem of the green
suede jacket that they both loved so much, "Scully, I want you to
go to the doctor," as hazel once again locked with azure, his
voice became strained, "I mean I'm sure you probably just picked
up the flu, God knows it's been going around, but it..."

"Mulder," Scully quickly broke into his discourse, about to
protest, to say that she was fine, but as she searched his
pleading eyes, though better of it, "yeah, of course, I'll call
my doctor tomorrow," she acquiesced. Though neither of them dared
to speak of the possibility that her cancer had returned, the
fear was a well known resident in each of their minds. Cruelly
her doctor self had been reminding her since the first wave of
vertigo that remission did not mean cured. So instead of trying
to put his concerns to rest, knowing inherently that only a clean
doctor's bill of health would ease his mind, she only assured him
again that she would indeed get checked out as soon as possible.

Just as Scully was about to turn to her car to leave, Mulder
stepped forward, opening his arms and finding his partner already
there. Resting his chin gently on her head, Mulder spoke, "Scully
you know I wouldn't want anyone else out there covering my ass."

"I know," she replied, not without emotion.

"Mulder," Scully said when finally they broke apart.

"Yeah?" he replied, looking at her intently.

"Hurry home, okay?"

Slowly, Mulder smiled at her childlike query, "Before you know
it," he said right before turning to his car.

Much later, after she had pulled on her favorite pair of jeans,
threw an ancient University of Maryland sweatshirt over still wet
hair, and slipped into a pair of comfortable tennis shoes, Scully
found herself in her car, driving, and idly noticed that she had
never actually made a conscious decision to go to Mulder's. Since
leaving the Hoover Building hours before, she had been plagued
with a feeling of uneasiness that had settled in the pit of her
stomach, a constant sense of dread that she could no more
rationalize than back up with facts. Ultimately, though, it was
most likely that sense of fear that led her to Mulder's
apartment.
     
When finally she stood in front of his door, the familiar and
perpetually crooked 42 easing her mind just a little bit, Scully
finally willed herself to knock. At his muffled, "Yeah, hold on,"
she hoped, not for the first time, that she wasn't waking him. As
he opened the door to reveal his partner standing there, Mulder's
expression showed some surprise, though he quickly masked it.
Taking in her appearance, he had to smile. His very professional,
gun toting partner, free of makeup, hair curling gently around
her face, looked like a college student, up late to finish her
biology lab.

"Hey Scully, what's up?" Mulder queried.

"Hi, I um, I..." Scully fumbled for the words to tell him that
his extremely rational partner had come over on nothing more than
a feeling. Sensing her discomfort, Mulder immediately broke in,
"Here, come in, I was just finishing packing. Do you want
something to drink, water, I can make some tea."

"Tea sounds great Mulder, thanks." As he left for the kitchen,
Scully wandered into the living room, silently noticing his TV
on, tuned to CNN as a nameless reporter rattled off baseball
scores. Scully assumed the program was little more than
background noise to Mulder's own thoughts. Sitting down on her
partner's leather couch, she waited for him to return, letting
her own thoughts drift. A few minutes later, she was broken out
of her meditation by a dip in the couch, signaling that Mulder
had come back into the living room unnoticed. Looking down as he
handed her a steaming mug of green tea, Mulder spoke, "Is
everything okay Scully, I mean did you..."

Now Scully was quick to assuage Mulder's fears, "No, Mulder,
everything's fine, really." Taking a deep breath, she continued,
"I, I actually just have a bad feeling about all this. I mean
with Krycek's reappearance, and Marita. It just seems like most
of the stuff we've been told doesn't add up, doesn't fit."

In reality, her words were a large part of what he had been
thinking about not long before she arrived. Knowing the admission
of her fears had cost her, Mulder chose his next words carefully,
"I feel the same way Scully, I don't trust Krycek and more than
you do, or Marita for that matter, but it seems the evidence is
there, the guys seem to think so at least."

"Mulder, even so, I don't like the idea of us being separated by
a whole damn continent, and I don't like that, if this is a trap,
we're walking all too willingly into it."

Not having the words to ease her worries, as they were his as
well, he took her much smaller, paler hand into his own larger,
darker one, twining their fingers. Despite the differences in
their hands, they fit perfectly together. Yin and yang, alpha and
omega, he thought, so like them in almost all respects. Bringing
their hands to his lips, he kissed first her knuckles, and then
the inside of her wrist, feeling the sensitive skin there pulse
with her life.

"Mulder, I don't like being left here." Scully persisted.

"Don't worry, Scully, I'll bring Skinner home safe and sound for
you," Mulder replied, teasing her about Wayne Federman's disaster
of a movie. The small smile that the remark had elicited from his
partner, along with the customary eyebrow easily made the sharp
elbow into his side worth it. Looking up to see his partner
staring intently at his carpet, however, he realized that his
humor hadn't put her fears to rest. In fact, he thought, nothing
short of canceling his trip to Oregon would completely ease her
mind. And knowing his partner, such actions would only cause her
to feel guilty. It looked as if they were both just going to have
to deal with these less than ideal situations, whether they liked
them or not.

Moments later, Scully was surprised when she felt herself being
drawn into Mulder's arms. Head tucked against his chest, she
wrapped her arms slowly around his waist, breathing his scent as
her head rested against one of his endless gray t-shirts, warmed
by the heat of his body. Serious now, Mulder spoke, "Scully, know
that you'll always be with me in spirit if not in body."

Pulling back slightly, but keeping her hands resting lightly
around his waist, Scully searched his eyes, finding the same
mixture of dread and concern that she knew must be mirrored in
her own.
Taking her hands from his waist, she reached behind her neck to
find the clasp of her cross. As realization dawned on Mulder's
face, he immediately began to protest, but was quickly silenced
by the look in her eyes. This was important to her, something she
needed to do. As she brought her arms around Mulder's neck,
clasping this part of her securely around him, Scully parroted
her partner's words from just moments ago, "In spirit if not in
body," she confirmed, seeing his eyes turn liquid. When she was
done, she brought her hands to rest gently on the sides of his
face, bringing his head down to hers where he met her halfway in
an almost unbearably sweet and gentle kiss. Despite the
chasteness of it, there was a sense of passion and intensity that
lingered just below the surface, ready to be accessed with
minimal effort. Though their partnership had progressed to a
physical level several months ago, the newness was still there
with each caress, each touch. Both hoped it would remain that way
forever. 

After Scully had found her old lover, she had been forced to come
to certain conclusions about her life, about the people in it.
Finding Mulder in nearly every aspect of her life, as well as the
future she envisioned had been less a revelation and more an
awakening, as they had finally consummated a seven year courtship
upon his return from England. Since that night, when she had
opened her heart to him more completely than ever before, they
had been together few times as their cases had been seemingly
constant and often taking them out of town. Even so, each of
those times together had been almost beyond words as they had
learned each other in this final way.

Breaking out of her reverie, Scully finally pulled away from
their kiss, resting her forehead gently against his, the tips of
their noses just barely brushing. Placing a soft kiss on the tip
of her nose, Mulder rose from the sofa, entwining his right hand
with her left one and pulling her easily to her feet. "Come on
Scully," he spoke softly near to her ear, "let's go to bed."

Feeling her own fatigue, Scully nodded gratefully as the tips of
his fingers came to graze lightly against her lower back, pushing
her gently towards his bedroom door.

Sometime later, engulfed in one of Mulder's New York Knicks t-
shirts, Scully lay contentedly with her head resting gently on
Mulder's chest, one arm wrapped lazily around his waist. She soon
felt her own body relaxing as her partner's slow breathing and
constant heartbeat lulled her to the in-between place just before
sleep takes over. "I'll miss you, Mulder," she said very softly
to his still form, and just before drifting off, she thought she
heard an answering "I'll miss you too."

When Scully woke the next morning, his scent surrounding her, she
knew that she was alone. Mulder had left hours before to meet
Skinner at Dulles for an early morning flight to Oregon, and she
vaguely remembered him dropping a soft kiss to her forehead just
before exiting his apartment. 

Now, Scully wanted, needed that security and reassurance that she
had felt at Mulder's apartment almost a month ago. As the weeks
had passed and still no word from Mulder, nothing to assure her
that he was all right, or even alive, Scully found it
increasingly hard to go through the motions. At the office, where
she could feel his presence so acutely, Scully could almost
believe that he was right there with her. So much so that if she
was reading an article she knew he would find interesting, she
would turn to tell him about it and just catch herself before she
spoke. Only yesterday, as she had tripped on her three inch heels
going out the doorway, Scully could hear his amused admonishment
for wearing the ridiculous shoes so clearly in her head that she
had almost turned around to reply.

Looking up, Scully realized that her car was idling outside of
Mulder's apartment. She found herself only slightly surprised
that she could barely remember any of the twenty minute ride.
Turning off the engine and exiting the car, Scully climbed the
stairs to her partner's familiar home, wishing for an instant
that, if she were to knock, he would answer, but knowing with a
slice of pain through her heart that he wouldn't. Entering with
the key he had given her so many years ago, Scully stepped
inside, having to catch her breath as the familiar surroundings
and the distinct scent of her partner assaulted her senses.
Scully stopped occasionally as she wandered through the rooms,
his apartment known to her almost as well her own. Her eyes
lingered on the digital camera he had gotten himself earlier that
year, warmly remembering how he had surprised her with it one
morning in the office. "I was thinking Scully," he had explained,
"maybe if I had one of these all those years ago, I might have
captured some of that proof that you always speak so fondly of."
They had shared a grin at that, both remembering the many times
she told him that it was not likely anyone would take him
seriously on just his word.

Finding her way to his desk, Scully spotted the compass she had
given him for Christmas that year. After the separation and
trauma that they had endured months before, she had felt it was a
fitting gift. It had been her father's, hand crafted, clearly
with much care and talent, and given to her when she left home
for college. He had told her the compass was so that she would
always be able find her way home, no matter how far life would
eventually take her. Later, she had told Mulder that story as he
carefully handled the cherry wood base. Scully had watched as his
eyes  sparkled, clearly touched. When she was finished he had
said simply, "Thank you, Scully, I love it," before gently
touching his lips to the side of her mouth.

Finally entering Mulder's bedroom, Scully walked over to his
bureau, dropping down to rummage through his t-shirt drawer.
Eventually she settled on one of the gray one's she loved so
much, knowing that it would smell like him. Soon she was under
his familiar sheets, feather soft comforter tucked under her
chin. Resting her head against his pillow, Scully felt a single
tear slip down her cheek. God, she missed him. Unconsciously, one
hand reached down to her still flat abdomen. As she had left him
with a part of her in her cross, her faith, he had just as
assuredly left a part of himself. This miracle that wasn't
supposed to be and yet was, this child that would fill a yearning
she hadn't allowed herself to acknowledge since Emily's death. In
his bed, Scully allowed herself to relax in way that she hadn't
in the past weeks. Often, nights were spent sleepless until the
early hours of the morning, fearing that, were she to slumber,
she might miss a cryptic middle of the night phone call. And if
that fear didn't keep her awake, the frequent nightmares about
what was happening to her partner all but drained of her of any
remaining desire to lose herself in unconsciousness. But now,
surrounded by all things Mulder, Scully felt herself drifting
away, hoping to herself that she might finally be allowed this
small reprieve, if just for a few hours. "Come home, Mulder,"
Scully whispered, just before relinquishing herself to the arms
of sleep.


End